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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25732312">The Diary of Stormtrooper AL-3298</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Narcissus_rose/pseuds/Narcissus_rose'>Narcissus_rose</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>The Archives [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Accidental Voyeurism, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Attempt at Humor, Bodyguard, Brief mention of pregnancy in epilogue, Coup d'état, Crack, Crack Treated Seriously, Diary/Journal, F/M, Fix-It, Fluff, Force Bond (Star Wars), Humor, Hux is a sneaky bastard, One Shot, Post-Star Wars: The Last Jedi, Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker Fix-It, douglas adams refrences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-08-05</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-08-05</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-05 12:27:52</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>9,230</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25732312</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Narcissus_rose/pseuds/Narcissus_rose</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>deep within the archives of the third republic is a diary belonging to a former stormtrooper named AL-3298 who worked as a bodyguard to Supreme Leader Kylo Ren</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Kylo Ren/Rey, Rey/Ben Solo, Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>The Archives [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1884244</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>12</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>87</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Collections:</b></td><td>Reylo Hidden Gems</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>The Diary of Stormtrooper AL-3298</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>hi there. this is my piss poor attempt at being funny, filled with references to the hitchhikers guide to the galaxy and Alan Titchmarsh gets referenced at one point (i don't know either). </p><p>it's crack</p><p>enjoy</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>[<em>Third Republic Historical Archives</em>]</p><p><strong>Item</strong>: diary<br/>
<strong>Date</strong>: 34 ABY - 35 ABY<br/>
<strong>Affiliation</strong>: First Order<br/>
<strong>rank</strong>: personal security stormtrooper<br/>
<strong>Name</strong>: AL-3298<br/>
<strong>Sex</strong>: male</p><p>[<em>owner is shown to have had a close personal and professional relationship to Supreme Leader Kylo Ren, aka Ben Solo</em>]</p><p>Dear diary,</p><p>Great news. I’ve been promoted. What rank I don’t hear you ask because you are a diary and are not capable of sentient thought? Well I (and two other people, but they’re not as interesting as I am. They’re probably boring and smell like cabbage) have been tasked with the personal security of the Supreme Leader!!!!</p><p>I know. Me, AL-3298 is going to be following Kylo Ren around all day. I’ll have to go to meetings, I’ll have to watch him train…</p><p>on second thought it actually sounds really boring. Seriously, what does that guy do all day except train, go to meetings, break things, strangle Hux and throw troopers across hallways?</p><p>You know, on third thought, I think I might actually die.</p>
<hr/>
<p>Dear diary,</p><p>I met Ren today and BOY, he does not need the three of us. That guy is as tall as a Wookiee and wider than a fucking star destroyer. Seriously, he must be shredded!!!</p><p>It was really weird though, the moment we were in his quarters, (which are more sparse than the trooper barracks. At least my bunkmates all decided to decorate the walls with a tasteful celebration of the male genitalia), he told us to take our helmets off.</p><p>I’m going, to be honest with you diary, I was kind of nervous about it, showing the new supreme leader my face. what if he thought it was ugly? I know my bunkmates tell me I’m ugly, but what if he thinks so too?</p><p>As I took it off, I saw the others taking theirs off as well. I turned to my right and saw a woman with black hair tied into a low bun and dark skin, and to my left I saw a man with a close-shaven head and blond hair. It was strange seeing my fellow troopers without their helmets while on duty, usually the only time they're allowed off is during meal times and when you’re in bed.</p><p>“I’m sure you're wondering why I asked you to be my security team,” he said to us as we nodded in agreement. “The three of you are different from your fellow troopers, you're more independent.”</p><p>“How do you know that?” The woman asked, making Kylo (yes diary, I’m calling him Kylo) chuckle.</p><p>“Well for starters the question you just asked. Most troopers wouldn’t take the initiative and ask me, but you did. And to answer your question, I’ve seen that the three of you have been written up the most since you were children. After that, I just took a little delve into your mind and confirmed my suspicions. Hux has been pestering me to have some kind of personal security, so I decided to choose my own before he took matters into his own hands.”</p><p>Yes dear diary, you heard it correctly, he can read minds. Basically to shorten a very long speech the went on to give, he said that he chose us as security because were “independent thinkers” and “won’t spy on him for Hux” and “all outrageously good looking” (okay, I made up that last part but you get the gist). After he finished explaining our jobs to us, he went and locked himself in his office, and we didn’t get to see him for the rest of the day.</p>
<hr/>
<p>Dear diary,</p><p>I saw Kylo Ren in the shower. Kylo Ren is shredded.</p><p>He also screams like a girl when you walk into the ‘fresher and catch him showering.</p><p>Turns out that I also scream like a girl when I see my boss naked.</p><p>It was not a good day.</p>
<hr/>
<p>Dear diary,</p><p>After yesterday where I totally didn't see the supreme leader’s penis, today was pretty normal, although I did hear him talking to himself. It wasn’t thinking out loud sort of talking to himself that most of the engineers do when trying to work out a problem; no, this was a full-on conversation with someone, only I could only hear his half.</p><p>“Are you happy,” he said to himself almost bitter.</p><p>Silence.</p><p>“You know my offer still stands,” this time he just sounded sad.</p><p>Silence.</p><p>“You know that’s not what I meant.”</p><p>You know to me diary, it honestly sounded like he was having an argument with an imaginary friend. I used to have one of those, but of course, that’s strictly between us, can’t let my bunkmates know that.</p><p>After he finished his bizarre form of ‘me time’, he called us all in and told us to pick names for ourselves; EM-1736 became Emily, and BM-4685 became Bomb.</p><p>Now you're probably wondering, dear diary, what my name is. Well you see, we didn’t pick the names for ourselves, but the others (including Kylo) picked one. Now if it were up to me I would have chosen something cool like Zaphod or something, but no, Emily and Bomb get reasonable names, but me? What do I get lumped with?</p><p>Alan.</p><p>I am a stormtrooper named Alan.</p><p>Not exactly the thing to strike fear into the hearts of your enemies is it?</p><p>Oh no here comes Alan, here to destroy us all!</p><p>Doesn’t have the same effect.</p><p>Alan is the name of someone who does home and garden improvements, not someone who guards the supreme leader.</p>
<hr/>
<p>Dear diary,</p><p>So I think that Kylo Ren is just slightly unstable.</p><p>This morning began fairly normally; got up, had breakfast, stood outside the supreme leaders chambers, followed him to a meeting. What could be out of the ordinary?</p><p>The meeting began smoothly enough, they talked about finances, a small skirmish in the outer rim, nothing that wouldn’t be expected. Everything however, changed when Hux brought up the Resistance. I have learned over my few weeks as a bodyguard that you should never discuss the Resistance with the supreme leader, because when you do, he gets all tense and grumpy (more than usual which is saying something).</p><p>You see dear diary, I don’t like Hux, none of the troopers do; he’s the kind of person who would think being called a massive dick is a compliment and then to show you how much he appreciates you, he’ll poison your food leave you to die in slow agony (it’s what he did to his father, so I can’t imagine what would be install for someone he didn’t like).</p><p>“Now I think we should talk about the latest attack on the Resistance,” Hux proposed.</p><p>“Hux, Crait was two months ago, you need to stop going on about it,” Kylo said, sounding more bored than frustrated.</p><p>“Oh no, not Crait sir,” Hux said in a way that I could just tell that snivelling little shit was plotting something, “I’m talking about the latest one, today.”</p><p>And with that dear diary he blew up pushing Hux up against the wall with his mind, roaring that he had no authority to order an attack, that he was wasting resources and men (Hux said that they were only stormtroopers and were replaceable. Asshole), and that the Resistance was his problem, not Hux’s. As this went on I could see the other officers beginning to sweat buckets and Mitaka who looked like he was going to burst into tears, while Hux was still pinned against the wall. Eventually he dropped him, before going into a quiet rage which was somehow more terrifying than him screaming.</p><p>“What exactly did you hope to achieve?” He asked.</p><p>“Well, on last report they only had forty members at most, so we might as well destroy the last of them. Or have you become sentimental?” The last part didn’t make any sense but it did seem to irk Kylo who ended the meeting.</p><p>When we got back to his room he immediately called officer Kalonia to give him a report of the battle, unfortunately (or fortunately I guess by his reaction) there were no casualties on either side.</p><p>“And what of the Jedi girl?”</p><p>“She was seen by some of the troopers but that was it, sir,” at that moment it looked like a wave of relief washed over his face. Weird I know.</p><p>What gets stranger dear diary, is the fact that I heard him talking to himself (that’s become a regular occurrence) and it sounded like he was having an argument about the attack today.</p><p>“I didn’t order it, it was Hux, he went behind my back,” he said, sounding desperate.</p><p>Silence.</p><p>“Please say something,”</p><p>Silence.</p><p>“You know I can’t do that.”</p><p>Silence.</p><p>“Because too many of the upper ranks are loyal to him. I’m doing my best to sideline him but that takes time; if I were to demote or get rid of him entirely, it would just lead to a coupe, and the last thing the galaxy needs is to be under the rule of Hux.”</p><p>Silence.</p><p>“I’m sorry.”</p>
<hr/>
<p>Dear diary,</p><p>I’m sorry I haven’t been able to write in you recently, but I have a good reason. For the past week the supreme leader was away on a mission and wanted us to join him!</p><p>I cannot tell you the joy I felt when I heard this news. He told us he was following a lead about the resistance and wanted to investigate for himself, rather than having Hux mess it all up.</p><p>“Sir,” Emily said, “why us? Why not take the knights with you?”</p><p>“Because I don’t trust them,” he said very bluntly, “when we get there I will be giving you very specific instructions that cannot be repeated to another soul, and I don’t trust them to follow.”</p><p>The instructions were, as it turned out, very weird. The moment we landed on that jungle planet whose name we were not told, and stepped off the ship, he told us to not fire at the Jedi girl if we saw her.</p><p>I know, the person who killed Snoke is not allowed to be killed.</p><p>Turns out we had to test our rule-following skills because we ran into her after about half an hour.</p><p>Now diary, what I am about to tell you is the weirdest thing I have ever seen in my life (and that list includes my seeing my boss naked). When we saw her she was on her own and just standing there, staring at him. He was staring back, but the way he was looking at her was the same way actors in the HoloDramas that someone managed to smuggle in, look at each other when they're in love. Now I don’t believe that Kylo Ren is in love with the Last Jedi, but BOY it sure looks like it.</p><p>She was giving him a weird look as well, like she wanted to say something but couldn’t for whatever reason. She was also looking at him like she couldn’t decide whether she wanted to kiss him or kill him.</p><p>“I won’t fight you,” he said, breaking the tension, but somehow also heightening it at the same time. “You don’t have a weapon.”</p><p>“So you would kill me if I did?” She shot back, clearly not fully grasping the fact that the ‘Jedi Killer’ had a weapon and she, ‘the Last Jedi’ did not.</p><p>“You know I wouldn’t,” he said, in a surprisingly soft voice.</p><p>You see by this point dear diary, they had been staring at each other so intensely, that by the time they actually spoke to each other I felt like I should give them some space. Luckily his next words were “go back to the ship, I need to settle this on my own.”</p><p>We didn’t see him until sundown.</p><p>We also didn’t get any more leads on the Resistance.</p>
<hr/>
<p>Dear diary,</p><p>I have made a discovery today.</p><p>You see I realized that the three of us each fit into a different category.</p><p>Emily: inquisitive, intelligent, keeps all your secrets</p><p>Bomb: muscle, handsome, kind hearted</p><p>But I, as I have come to discover, am an inconvenience.</p><p>You see over my time as personal security I have found that on the occasion when I have had to interrupt Kylo Ren when he is talking to himself, he always looks like he wants to murder me. Every time I have done this he has looked around like he was talking to someone but they just disappeared from sight. And every time I have done this he has said “this isn’t a very convenient time, I’m a little busy.”</p><p>This is of course not forgetting how I seem to have a habit of standing in the way of something.</p><p>Now we have orders not to enter his chambers unless we have an urgent message or he has called for us.</p>
<hr/>
<p>Dear diary,</p><p>I don’t even know how to begin this.</p><p>Everything started normally today; woke up, went to the mess to get breakfast, went to stand outside the supreme leaders chambers and follow him around all day. Sounds pretty normal so far.</p><p>What was different about today was the fact that I was alone. We had some dignitaries from some of the core worlds visiting and Kylo thought that it would be best to have Emily and Bomb watch them. And when I say watch I really mean spy on them (he even had our helmets fitted with secret recording devices so we wouldn’t miss anything).</p><p>As I was standing there outside his room, I heard him talking to himself again, but this time it sounded as if there was someone else in there with him.</p><p>The moment I heard it something compelled me to use the recording device in my helmet so I could catch it all. Here it is.</p><p>I am going to be in so much trouble if he ever finds this.</p><p>[audio file]</p><p>
  <strong>[Kylo Ren] you managed to fix it yet?</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>[Unknown Voice] finished it yesterday.</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>[KR] good job.</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>[UV] you helped.</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>[KR] not really. I just suggested a staff might suit you better. The rest was you.</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>[UV] if you hadn’t suggested it, I would still be trying to rebuild that old hilt. Thank you.</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>[KR] your welcome.</strong>
</p><p>[silence]</p><p>
  <strong>[UV] I wish this war would end.</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>[KR] do you want to get into that debate again?</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>[UV] no. I just wish it didn’t have to be like this. I want to see you again.</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>[KR] I want to see you too.</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>[UV] is there any way…</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>[KR] no. I’ve got some dignitaries on board to talk about providing aid to outer rim worlds.</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>[UV] rebuilding worlds you destroyed?</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>[KR] yes. I meant it when I said I wanted to start something new; the best way to do that would be to fix all the messes Snoke made and never bothered to clean up. If we can provide the people a good standard of living, then there won’t be any need to rebel, and we can focus our resources elsewhere.</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>[UV] so that’s your plan is it? You won’t fight the resistance, you’ll just render them obsolete. You are your mother's son.</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>[KR] I suppose I am.</strong>
</p><p>[Prolonged silence]</p><p>[footsteps growing nearer]</p><p>[end of audio recording]</p>
<hr/>
<p>Dear diary,</p><p>As it turns out, I’m not the only one who’s been finding the supreme leaders behaviour weird. I was having breakfast in the mess hall when my bunkmate, DA-4263 came and sat next to me.</p><p>“Can I ask you something?” He said in a low voice.</p><p>“Sure,” I said, slightly unsure.</p><p>“Is it just me, but the supreme leader’s been acting really weird.”</p><p>“How so?” I asked, careful not to say too much, or else risk my head becoming the first thing to decorate Ren’s chambers.</p><p>“I don’t know but he just seems different, you know?”</p><p>I was about to answer when four more troopers came and joined us at our table.</p><p>“Are you talking about that thing we were talking about yesterday,” SH-4557 asked as he sat down with the others. As DA nodded the others jumped into the conversation.</p><p>“I can’t put my finger on it, but something about him just seems off.” SH said.</p><p>“Do you know what I heard?” GL-8139 said conspiratorially. Now something that I need to get out of the way dear diary, is the fact that GL-8139 is Immeasurably stupid and will believe anything you tell him as long as you add the phrase “it’s true” at the end.</p><p>(example: “hey GL, did you know that star destroyers are powered by an army of mice on tiny treadmills?” “really?” “it's true” “yes that sounds like a reasonable way to power a ship, thank you for sharing this totally believable information”)</p><p>“What?” I said, preparing myself for whatever was about to come out of his mouth.</p><p>“I heard that the supreme leader is in love with the Jedi.” Oh poor, GL; he sounded so convinced of himself as well.</p><p>The moment he said that, a thunderous roar of laughter erupted from our table, making everyone turn to look at us. It was only after CB-8960 told everyone that it was something GL said did they shake their heads and continue eating.</p><p>“Oh you can’t really believe that!” I said.</p><p>“It’s true!”</p><p>“Oh yeah sure,” DA said between laughs, “and Snokes just dead for tax purposes.” That of course caused another round of laughter.</p><p>By the time breakfast was over I had been laughing so hard I was worried that I had bruised a rib. Joined once again by Emily and Bomb, they began to ask me what we were laughing at, so of course I told them. Once again I was swept up into another wave of laughter as Bomb bent over, placing his massive hand on my shoulder to support himself as he laughed. Emily, strangely enough, looked slightly shocked.</p><p>I was about to ask her what was wrong when the door whizzed open to reveal a very shocked, confused and irritated Kylo Ren. That killed the laughter pretty quickly.</p><p>“What is so funny that I can hear you laughing while I am in any office trying to go over some incredible important work that regards the future of the First Order?” He said as we stood in terrified silence, “there’s no point in lying, and if I have to, I’ll just extract it myself.” That got me talking.</p><p>“It was just something GL-8139 said at breakfast sir,” I said awkwardly, hoping he would leave it at that as I watched him roll his eyes. GL has a bit of a reputation.</p><p>“What did he say?” He said, seeming almost intrigued.</p><p>Knowing that there was no way I could get out of this, I answered him, because hey once you’ve dug your own grave, you might as well finish the job and shoot yourself.</p><p>“He was just saying that he heard that you - and please remember this is GL - are in love with the last Jedi…” he had suddenly gone very tense, so I (being the idiot that I am) tried to rectify the situation, “but we weren’t laughing at you sir, we were just laughing at how GL will believe anything you tell him, and he has really outdone himself this time, I mean you and the last Jedi…” I was rambling and couldn’t stop myself. Eventually he put his hand up silencing me and went back inside.</p><p>We all stood there for a moment slightly in shock, slightly afraid and slightly worried that the others could smell me sweating.</p><p>“You two are both idiots, I hope you know that.” Emily said.</p><p>“Tell is how you really feel, why don’t you.” Bomb said, more than a little insulted.</p><p>“Why do you say that anyway?” I asked.</p><p>“I’ll let you figure it out yourselves,” she said exasperated, “it’s probably for the best anyway.”</p><p>And with that we stood in silence for the rest of the day.</p>
<hr/>
<p>Dear diary,</p><p>I really shouldn’t be uploading this audio file but I can’t even explain it, beyond it was my turn to take the night shift and I was once again alone.</p><p>[audio file]</p><p>
  <strong>[Kylo Ren] I miss you.</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>[Unknown Voice] I miss you too.</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>[KR] you know…</strong>
</p><p><strong>[UV] your offer still stands. I know.</strong> [silence]<strong> I’ve thought about taking it up you know, but every time I do I’ve thought better of it.</strong></p><p>
  <strong>[KR] why?</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>[UV] Ben we would clash at almost every turn. Every time I see a stormtrooper I think of Finn and feel an immense guilt; if I was surrounded by them I would try and break their programming, or tell them that there's a better life out there for them if they left.</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>[KR] I’ve been trying to improve things for them. I’ll be increasing their allotted downtime next week and I’ll be increasing their rations.</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>[UV] but their still child soldiers.</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>[KR] Rey, I’m doing my best, but there’s only so much I can do without raising suspicion! What do you want?</strong>
</p><p>[silence]</p><p>
  <strong>[UV] i want you to hold me.</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>[KR] alright. I’m sorry, I— I didn’t mean to get angry.</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>[UV] I’m sorry too. I wish we didn’t keep fighting like this, I hate fighting with you. I guess it just proves that joining each other would have been a bad idea.</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>[KR] I guess it does.</strong>
</p><p>[silence]</p><p>
  <strong>[KR] I love you.</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>[UV] I love you too.</strong>
</p><p>[end of audio recording]</p>
<hr/>
<p>Dear diary.</p><p>Rations have been increased.</p><p>So has allotted down time.</p><p>I don’t know what’s going on.</p>
<hr/>
<p>Dear diary,</p><p>I have made two shocking discoveries today, but I think it’s best to tell you from my perspective as I was discovering them.</p><p>Kylo Ren has been going on more solo missions than ever before. At first it was every once in a while, but it seems like any given opportunity he will leave to go do something “force related.”</p><p>The first time it happened, he caught some nasty virus, because he came back with all these purple marks on his neck and chest (to answer your question yes I accidentally saw him without a shirt and yes he looked like he wanted to kill me). When I asked him what was wrong he suddenly went very red and said that he caught a virus and that I should stay away.</p><p>Being an obedient person, I did. Although I did notice that he seemed to be in a pretty good mood for the rest of the day. Of course a good mood for him is relative, because for most people they would be smiling and laughing and singing (well i do the last one), but for him a good mood is not shouting at Hux and not wanting to murder everything that walks (although that could just be me).</p><p>Today when I asked Emily if she thought that the virus that he keeps catching whenever he goes on a mission was a cause for concern she just blushed and told me that she didn’t think it was. If she thinks everything is alright then I trust her. It wasn’t until I saw her neck that I began to worry.</p><p>“Oh my gods Emily have you got it too?” I asked in a panic when I saw a purple mark on her neck. Naturally as I didn't want to get a disease I jumped away, placing Bomb between us as I used him as a human shield.</p><p>“Ah…” she began going very red, “I was in there earlier, maybe I got it.”</p><p>“Oh you definitely got it alright,” Bomb said, eliciting a slap on the arm from Emily. At first I didn’t take any notice, I just assumed he was talking about the virus, but slowly (and I mean very slowly. Like an hour later) I began to put the pieces together.</p><p>“You had sex with the supreme leader!” I shouted.</p><p>Okay maybe I thought that I put the pieces together.</p><p>“No I didn’t!” She shouted back, “I had sex with Bomb you oaf! When would I have slept with the supreme leader? He was out all day! He must have had sex with someone else.”</p><p>And that dear, diary was the two-in-one gut-punch of revelations.</p><p>Emily was with Bomb and the Supreme leader has a girlfriend/boyfriend/other sentient companion.</p><p>But now I'm wondering, if he's going to meet someone, who did he say ‘i love you’ to?</p>
<hr/>
<p>[<em>the next entry in this diary has been removed, due to the incredibly personal nature of the descriptions and images of the owners genitalia and what they believe may be wrong</em>]</p><p>[<em>due to the personal nature it has been decided to move this entry and have it available only for those studying medicine or other health-related subjects</em>]</p><p>[<em>entry is filed under M4 subsection A163</em>]</p><p>[<em>archivist wishes for a pay raise after having to look at, and file said entry</em>]</p>
<hr/>
<p>Dear diary,</p><p>So the med droid had a look and said that everything was going to be fine so i am officially all clear to go back on duty. I'm kind of sad that my week's rest is over but on the bright side I get to see Emily and Bomb again and I have missed seeing them.</p><p>Kylo Ren on the other hand…</p><p>Now it's not like i don't like him, he’s great once you get to know him, but it's just that he seems to be more moody ever since he stopped going on his solo missions. Hux said that he didn't see why he couldn't send the knights out to deal with whatever “force related” thing came up, and so as a result he stopped going on missions.</p><p>All of today he moped around and looked really depressed. It got so bad that he actually invited us all to have lunch with him.</p><p>I know that it seems like a cool thing to happen, and it is, don't get me wrong, but I think he asked us just because he's lonely.</p><p>Bomb was able to break the tension with some jokes (and some really nasty ones as well, to the point where even a Hutt would clutch their pearls) but nothing seemed to improve his mood, he just laughed politely. I even tried to compile a list of GL’s dumbest moments but once again, nothing.</p><p>Emily suggested that maybe we should let him work through it on his own.</p>
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<p>Dear diary,</p><p>Kylo Ren was training with the knights so there wasn't really any need for us to be there so he sent us away and told us to take the day off. When he said that Emily grabbed mine and Bomb’s hands and led us into the supreme leaders chambers. Now because we’re his security we have access to them, however, it does feels wrong to enter when he's not there.</p><p>“What's going on?” I asked as she shut the door.</p><p>“We all need to talk, and this is the only room on board that isn't bugged,” she said, as she marched over towards us and gestured for us to sit down. She looked at us for a moment as if she was trying to decide what she was going to say, creating a very tense silence while me and Bomb waited for her to speak.</p><p>“Is it something I've done?” Bomb asked, breaking the silence, but also appearing to irritate Emily.</p><p>“Bomb if it was something you had done i would have left Alan out of this,” she said, slightly annoyed, “no, this involves both of you and it's two things actually.” the moment she said that me and Bomb both reached for our discarded helmets and pressed record. She noticed us but she didn't seem to mind that we were recording her.</p><p>[audio file]</p><p>
  <strong>[EM] okay i'm going to tell you both everything, in full, but you have to promise not to interrupt me.</strong>
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  <strong>[BM] alright.</strong>
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  <strong>[EM] you know how Hux is a scheming little shit? Well one of my bunkmates said that she thinks Hux is up to something that he doesn't want anyone to know about. She said that she's seen him coming and going from the security rooms where they have all the surveillance footage, and he’s been receiving a lot of comms in his rooms rather than on the bridge as usual. Now I don't know what's going on but i told Ren and he said that he'd keep an eye on it but in the meantime we should meet here for me to tell you two.</strong>
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  <strong>[AL] he knows we're here?</strong>
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  <strong>[EM] of course he does! And what did I say about interrupting?</strong>
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  <strong>[AL] sorry</strong>
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  <strong>[EM] anyway, this next bit of information absolutely cannot be breathed to another living soul, including Ren.</strong>
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  <strong>[BM] do you want us to stop recording?</strong>
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  <strong>[EM] no its fine, i don't know why but i feel like you should keep them going. So, i was on the night shift a few weeks ago and I heard him talking to himself, but this time i heard a female voice in there with him, but I looked at the entry log and the last person to come in here was Ren.</strong>
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  <strong>[AL] I've heard that as well. When they were talking he said ‘I love you’. Do you know who it is?</strong>
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  <strong>[EM] i think that GL may have been on to something when he said that the Supreme Leader was in love with the Last Jedi. I think that it's her he's talking to. It's the only thing that makes sense, isn't it? The way that she seems to never have entered his room, the way he dismissed us on that mission when he saw her, the way we have hardly heard about any attacks on the Resistance and vice versa. Who else could it be?</strong>
</p><p>[sound of door opening]</p><p>[end of audio]</p><p>Just as i turned the audio off Kylo Ren turned the corner, fresh from training, and asked Emily if she had told us about Hux. when she said that she had, he sat down with us and told us that for the next few weeks things were going to be a bit different and we were going to have to spy on Hux.</p><p>That's right.</p><p>I'm a man on a mission.</p><p>I'm a spy.</p>
<hr/><p>_</p><p>Dear diary,</p><p>So I was given my marching orders today, and I have to shadow everything that Hux does. Now I'm not worried about him noticing that he's being followed; you see we all have the same uniform so you can't tell who is who, and Hux doesn't see us as people anyway, so he won't even know that a PERSON is following him.</p><p>Today was pretty boring, to be honest, although i did accidentally spill some water on him that he was drinking when i got knocked into him. Thankfully Ren was also there so i wont be receiving the death penalty today.</p><p>When I had to report back to Ren I was disappointed to say that I didn't have any information to offer, besides the fact that Milicent (his ginger cat) is far more pleasant to be around, and if I'm being honest, Milicent can do far better than the likes of Hux.</p>
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<p>Dear diary,</p><p>Once again there was nothing to report other than the fact that Hux is an asshole.</p><p>Bomb however, was able to collect more information. You see dear diary, most people assume that because he is beautiful to look at, there isn't much going on in his head. Because of this, people will often speak freely around him.</p><p>(Just to clarify dear diary, he isn't stupid, he has his moments, yes, but there is no way he would be able to get with Emily if he was just a pretty face).</p><p>According to Bomb, some of the security personnel said that Hux kicked them all out instead of asking them questions innainly, leaving them to stand in the corridor for an hour before he allowed them back in, leaving entirely empty-handed. Now apparently Hux instructed them not to breathe this to another living soul, so of course that was the first thing they did when they saw their friends.</p><p>“Shit!” Emily said as she gave Kylo a concerned look.</p><p>“He's getting sloppy,” he said, sounding concerned, “Alan, Bomb, me and Emily have some things we need to talk over, but in the meantime, talk to your fellow troopers and see if you can find anything else out.”</p><p>Following our orders, we both left and headed back to our bunks. It was getting late but I ran into DA on the way, and he sounded like he needed to talk to me urgently.</p><p>“Hey AL, I need to talk to you,” he said sounding anxious, “well, specifically I need to talk to the Supreme Leader. Can you take me to him?” I wasn't quite sure what to do, but he sounded nervous like it was important, so I told him to give me his blaster, and I and Bomb escorted him to Kylo Ren.</p><p>“Sir, I know you're busy but I have DA-4263 with me. He says that he urgently needs to speak with you. Should I let him?” I asked him through the comm outside his door.</p><p>“Yes, let him in.”</p><p>With that DA entered, and Emily left, leaving the two of them alone to speak.</p>
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<p>Dear diary,</p><p>I seem to have a habit of catching Kylo Ren at inconvenient times.</p><p>First of all, I'm sorry I haven't been able to write in you recently but I have been so busy helping the Supreme Leader figure out what Hux is up to that I haven't had the time or energy. And second of all, I'm scarred for life.</p><p>I was on the night shift yesterday, and I had been standing (sitting) there for about three hours when I heard what sounded like something falling over, at which point I got up and ran into his chambers.</p><p>Now dear diary, you have to understand that ever since this whole spying on Hux business began, we have all been on edge. Every time something gets broken we run in thinking that Kylo is being attacked, when in reality it's just him knocking into something or breaking it deliberately. So when I barged in there I was worried that an assassin had snuck in and was trying to kill him in his sleep.</p><p>I was proven wrong however, when i got there and saw a chair had been knocked over.</p><p>I was also proven very wrong when I saw Kylo Ren sitting on his bed, in his boxers, leaning back, with a very naked woman crouching between his legs with her face inching closer and closer to his crotch.</p><p>The moment we saw each other, we made (incredibly awkward) eye-contact and began to scream.</p><p>The lady also saw me and began to scream.</p><p>We spent a while screaming before he grabbed a pillow for himself.</p><p>“What the hell is going on Alan?” he roared, making me and the now slightly familiar looking lady jump.</p><p>“I heard a noise sir, with everything going on I wanted to check you were alright,” I said, pointedly looking away from the very naked lady standing in front of me (don't be fooled by my writing dear diary, i trembled my way through every word of that sentence).</p><p>“Um sir I know it’s not really my place but can you give your lady friend something so she can cover herself?”</p><p>“He can see me?” She said, sounding very surprised.</p><p>“He can hear you too,” I said, “please miss.”</p><p>With that I heard the rustle of blankets and muttering from the two of them. When it was finally safe to look, I finally had a good view of her face. And that was when I realized.</p><p>I knew her.</p><p>She’s the last Jedi.</p><p>I said as much when I shouted “you're the Jedi! GL was right for once! Holy shit!”</p><p>“Yes she is,” he said. From there he went on to explain that they had something called a force bond and that they would just appear to each other at random times and they have no way to control it. As time had gone on they found that it was growing stronger, to the point when a person who isn’t force sensitive (me) is able to see my boss nearly get a blow job. They then began to explain that because of the bond they were both forced to communicate with each other, and over time a sort of understanding grew between them, which eventually grew into something deeper.</p><p>It was quite sweet to be honest, and it kind of makes sense why he didn’t want to fight her on the planet when she was unarmed (and also why I was so uncomfortable watching them just stare at each other). The way he was looking at her also reminded me of the way Bomb looks at Emily when he thinks nobody is looking.</p><p>But at the same time, I could see how happy they were together and it made me feel almost sad for them. All they want is to be together, but they're forced to run around in secret, behind everyone’s backs. I know what the consequences would be if either of them were found out, so I told them that what I saw wouldn’t leave that room.</p><p>“Thank you Alan,” she said, as she smiled at me in a way that just felt so warm and like she genuinely cared about me.</p><p>Maybe Alan isn’t such a bad name after all.</p>
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<p>Dear diary,</p><p>I know, I know, we haven't spoken recently, but I do have a good reason. For a while now we have been trying to see what Hux was up to, and three weeks ago, we found out.</p><p>We had just finished having a meeting with Ren when the ship's intercom opened up. It sounded a little rusty at first seeing as the last time it was used was to announce that Kylo Ren was Supreme Leader, and before that Hux was on it seemingly constantly to tell us about how great the First Order is. When we heard it crackle to life everything stopped and stilled for a moment, then we heard Hux speak. At first it sounded like the ramblings of a power-hungry madman, saying that the current supreme leader wasn't fit to rule and that he was a traitor. When he began to speak, Kylo marched over to the door but found that he couldn't open it; it was seared shut and every code he tried was ineffective. By this point we began to panic as Hux continued to rant over the intercom.</p><p>“And now i would like to show you just some of the treason that he has been partaking in,” Hux said, as we all paused our frantic game of trying to escape his chambers, “here we have security footage from the Supremacy’s elevator, leading to Snokes throne room on the day he was murdered.” as he said that i saw the Supreme Leader pale to the point where i thought he was going to faint (yes Kylo Ren was so afraid that he nearly fainted, i don't believe it either).</p><p>As the audio played (we didn’t have any screens) I heard him and Rey (who i now know to be his girlfriend and very nice person) speaking.</p><p>“I'll help you,” she said, to him sincerely. As the audio ended I realised how obvious, not only their feelings for each other were, but also how clear it was that it wasn't just Rey who killed Snoke and the entire praetorian guard.</p><p>“As you can all see, Kylo Ren also bears responsibility for the death of our most venerated Supreme Leader, working in part with the so-called Last Jedi. I know that you too are as shocked and as saddened by this distressing news as I am. In light of this treachery a squadron of stormtroopers are on their way now to find Ren and bring him to justice.”</p><p>As the speech faded, I felt a very sudden awareness of my own mortality. It’s an odd feeling diary, knowing that you are about to die; in battle, you at least have a feeling that you are in some kind of control as you are also armed, but when a squadron of executioners is on their way, you suddenly feel a sense of helplessness that even the presence of Kylo Ren can’t quell. I knew that the squadron would probably take at least ten minutes to arrive before they killed us, so part of me was hopeful that maybe someone could come up with a plan to get us out of here, although it wasn’t enough to stop a few tears from falling. I wasn’t so naive as to think that this would be the only group of troopers, no, this was just the first wave meant to pick off the security before they fell to Kylo’s lightsaber, as he made his way to the hanger there would be more waiting to overwhelm him.</p><p>“I never asked,” Ren said, quietly, “how old each of you were. When I asked you to work as my security I chose the people who had been written up the most. I didn’t look at anything else,”</p><p>“Twenty-six,” Bomb said, more sombre than I have ever heard him.</p><p>“Twenty five,” Emily responded, voice cracking slightly.</p><p>“Alan?” Ren asked, “what about you?”</p><p>“Eighteen,” I said, trying not to let my voice show how afraid I was, although I think the tears were a strong enough clue. As I looked around, I could see a different kind of sadness creep on to the others' faces, as well as a look that could only be described as guilt from Kylo, and it made me realize just how young I am. “What about you sir? How old are you?”</p><p>“Thirty,” he said gruffly.</p><p>“Sir, I know that we don’t have a lot of options, but is there any way we could get out?” Emily asked.</p><p>After a moment's consideration Kylo looked as if he had had an epiphany, “yes, yes there is,” he said, sounding incredibly hopeful, “back when I was just Snoke’s apprentice, he had an elevator built just past the rooms there so if he needed me to go on a mission for him I had a quick way to access the hanger. It’s completely hidden and it wouldn’t be on any of the blueprints because it was added after the ship was finished, so Hux probably has no idea that it even exists.”</p><p>As he spoke I felt a sudden swell of hope rise within me. A secret escape elevator that led straight into the hangar where we could board a ship and escape. At least I was hoping for an escape, with the best will in the world there is no way that one supreme leader and three stormtroopers could face an entire star destroyers worth of people. All we had to do was to get through the first squadron before heading to the elevator.</p><p>As time drew on, and we waited, I couldn't help but wonder who would be sent to kill us. It's silly i know, but all i could think about was whether or not there would be someone i had had lunch with, or even one of my bunkmates. I knew that when it came down to it I would probably have to kill in order to escape, and even though I have been trained from birth to kill without question, I found myself wondering about the unknown face, whose life I would have to end. Eventually, though, we began to hear the marching footsteps approach the door.</p><p>For a moment, nothing happened. Then for a second or so, nothing continued to happen. I was beginning to think that the moment they saw the door they had completely forgotten about their orders and decided to take a little nap. However, that little fantasy ended abruptly when the doors opened and a swarm of troopers entered. Without even thinking I set my blaster to stun and began to fire, taking down trooper after trooper. Kylo on the other hand, was using his saber to deflect the bolts away from him and doing something with the force to make them collapse on the ground. Eventually the four of us stood there surrounded by twenty fallen stormtroopers, before we followed Kylo out the door to the secret elevator.</p><p>It seems that Hux must have planned for us to go down the main corridor because when we got to the hanger, it was completely empty, save for one trooper I had to stun. It was only once we left the hanger and jumped immediately to hyperspace, did I feel as if I could finally breathe.</p><p>“You know it’s times like these when you are the target of a coup, narrowly escaping being shot to death in your Supreme Leaders rooms, that I wish I had listened to what captain Phasma said when she was alive,” Bomb said.</p><p>“What did she say?” I asked, hoping for some useful advice.</p><p>“I don’t know. Didn’t listen,” Bomb responded, lightening the mood a bit, “Sir, do you know where we’re going?”</p><p>After a moment of contemplation, he just said “to see my mother.”</p><p>Now dear diary you have to understand that I have never even heard Kylo Ren mention that he had a mother (in all honesty I just assumed that he just magically appeared out of thin air, all grumpy and ready to kill), so when he said that we were going to see her, I honestly just imagined him but as an old woman. What I didn’t imagine however, was to be looking down the barrel of a hundred Resistance blasters the moment I stepped off the shuttle. Sometimes when you think that things can’t possibly get worse, they suddenly do.</p><p>Kylo Ren on the other hand, looked as if this was just par for the course when visiting his mother. Then I saw all the Resistance insignia and realized just where we were.</p><p>Kylo told us to go back to the ship and let him handle everything, so you can bet your ass we ran up that ramp and stayed there until he came back in telling us that everything was safe. He explained to us that his mother was General Leia Organa-Solo and that his real name was Ben Solo. He told us that his mother has agreed to help him take out Hux and bring an end to the coup (he also mentioned something about free and fair elections and bringing back democracy, but something that learnt the lessons of the past, but he mostly mumbled that to himself).</p><p>Now I won’t bore you with everything we did at the resistance base, other than go to meetings about Hux, how to take him down and who might still be loyal to Kylo (as well as watch him and Rey moon over each other like lovesick teenagers). We managed to figure out that there were probably a cell of generals who would back him immediately and another cell who would wait to see which way the battle was going so they could pick the winning side. Emily, Bomb and I all handed our helmets over so they could listen to what we had recorded on them (yeah the helmets kind of keep all the recordings. Wish I knew about that when I recorded Kylo’s conversations with Rey) and see if they could gather any extra intel.</p><p>(Emily’s: very useful</p><p>Bombs: mostly useful</p><p>Mine: “why the fuck did you record our conversations Alan!?”)</p><p>Now I know what your thinking diary, “will you skip to the good stuff? I’m getting bored!”, and yes, seeing as you asked (rather rudely I have to say) I will now be getting on to “the good stuff”</p><p>THE BATTLE!!!!! (I felt like it needed to have a title, ya know?)</p><p>The plan was simple, infiltrate the First Order, find anyone who is still loyal to Ren and get them to take up arms against Hux. It’s so simple that even an idiot like GL could figure it out, unfortunately, it was so simple that even an idiot like GL could figure it out.</p><p>Seriously.</p><p>He did…</p><p>Good news though was that he was on our side.</p><p>As the X-wings flew and did all kinds of tricks firing back at the TIE’s (I honestly can’t tell you what they do), we hacked into their intercom and sent them a speech by Kylo calling for those loyal to him to rise against Hux. But he also said something that surprised me; he said that if we fought for him he would allow us to choose whether or not we stay in the Stormtrooper program.</p><p>He was taking a risk, most of us don’t know who we out outside of our daily routines (when I got to the Resistance base I found myself following Kylo everywhere just out of habit, following the same schedule that I had on the Finaliziaser), so the offer of something new was a gamble.</p><p>Thank the gods it paid off.</p><p>The moment troops broke through the ship's shields, we found that the First Order was already cannibalizing itself, with those loyal to Ren fighting with a letter T drawn on their arms in red and black paint, so it looked like Kylo's lightsaber. As we joined the fray I found myself reunited with my bunk mates as well as other members of my squadron. DA was telling us how GL figured out that Kylo would probably go to the Resistance for help and come back to get rid of Hux. Aside from being stunned at the sudden growth of a brain in GL’s head (although he might have thought that because he did go around telling everyone that Kylo was in love with Rey) I was glad to see DA. He was my first real friend, although stormtroopers aren’t supposed to have friends, but I guess in this new life anything can happen.</p><p>My ruminations were brought to an abrupt end however, with the entrance of the Knights of Ren, who if I am being honest, are the kind of people who I wouldn’t even trust with my morning shit. As they walked out it was clear that they were searching for Kylo, who approached them with Rey. It looked like he was talking to them but because they were so far away I couldn’t make out a word of what they were saying. I could however make out the fighting when it (eventually) started. Everything in the hanger halted as we watched six against two all slashing, and stabbing, and jumping and generally causing each other grievous bodily harm. By the time it ended, it was just Kylo and Rey standing there surrounded by dead bodies.</p><p>After a moment of standing around, they both took off and the fighting resumed amongst the stormtroopers. It wasn't until later did i hear Kylo over the intercom saying that Hux was dead and that he was back in charge.</p><p>Apparently when they apprehended Hux he had realized that the battle was lost and they were going to kill him, and in a last-ditch effort to go down in a blaze of glory he had a secret self district button in his pocket that was connected to the ship's engines. Ren told me that he went to press it before they could stop him, and nothing happened. Then after some waiting nothing continued to happen, only this time he kept pressing it, hoping that it would work as him and Rey stood there watching before they eventually just killed him while he was frantically pushing a button that wouldn't blow up the floor beneath him. Well as it turns out dear diary, Rey is quite the mechanic so when she looked at the “KILL EVERYONE” switch she noticed that there was water damage which stopped the signal being sent to the engines for them to blow up.</p><p>And that was when I remembered the time when I was not looking at where I was going and bumped into Hux when he was holding a cup of water.</p><p>The water went all over his front.</p><p>Right where he was keeping the button.</p><p>Maybe being an inconvenience has its uses after all.</p><p>After the battle, we went around arresting officers who took part and I managed to sneak away to my bunk, and guess who I found dear diary? You!!! You were still under my pillow where I left you before we had to make an escape. I can't tell you how happy i was; so happy that i almost didn't notice my bunkmates coming in seeing me crying and holding you (yes i cried, don't judge, it was a stressful day).</p><p>Now I guess that this is me signing off,</p><p>Until next time ,diary.</p><p>Love, Alan.</p>
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<p>Dear diary,</p><p>I know I haven't written in you in a while but tomorrow I'm submitting you to the Third Republic Historical Archives and I thought that I should fill you in on what I've been up to these last twelve years.</p><p>Well immediately after the war most of the stormtroopers were funneled through a program run by Finn Dameron to help us to adjust to civilian life and teach us life skills. While i was there most of us were kept with people that we knew from before (so it isn't a complete culture shock) and we all ended up choosing names, DA became Daniel, GL became Gilbert, and i decided to stay as Alan. i decided that i wanted to stay down the route of personal security and was even chosen to be security for the peace negotiations. As it turns out, being part of Kylo Ren's personal security is a pretty good thing to add on your resume. As it also turns out, the recordings of Ben and Reys conversations actually went a long way to rehabilitate his image after the war and it really helped to humanize him in a lot of people's minds.</p><p>Not long after the war Bomb and Emily got married and now they have two kids and live on Coruscant. Ben and Rey got married immediately after the war and have a daughter with another on the way soon, and are living happily on Naboo, running a special school for children who have the force.</p><p>Me on the other hand? Well, about six years ago I was tasked with being the bodyguard for the daughter of a senator, named Celia Emala. Because I had to follow Celia around everywhere she went, we got to know each other pretty well, so to cut a long story short we’ve been married two years now and have a three month old named Percy.</p><p>I think in all i can say that I'm happy with how my life turned out. I still talk to Bomb and Emily as well as Rey and Ben, and on the anniversary of the battle of the Finalizer we all meet up and tell each other about our work and our kids.</p><p>Signed Alan Emala</p>
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